(I should be studying for my ECON exam, but I feel too conflicted about doing anything about it.)
As I may have bypassed a couple of entries ago, I’m currently interning @ Wanderrgirl.com, which, I think, is one of the most amazing things that happened to me this year. (I mean, after my interview, I literally told myself — Come on, Nica, admit it, you’ve never been this close to something you wanted this badly before!!) So imagine the gravity of my ecstasy (nako teh, dahan dahan sa term) when I found out she decided to give me a chance!
Why was I so worked up about it? I don’t know. Something about this internship gave me a sense of active-ness, of participation, of being able to do something for others. It felt inspiring to be in every meeting. (no joke) — and I absolutely got my creative juices back. But that, altogether, is another blog entry to talk about.
One thing really different about the Wanderrgirl environment was their take on Blogging. This little cyberspace of mine, I’ll probably admit, is but another cyber trash to somebody’s browser history, but I don’t really mind. I love writing my feelings out and I know I have a somewhat different way of doing it. Somehow there was pressure to make my online space a non-vomit word kind of place. Which I totally see the point in, and which I think, should be an advocate of every blogger. But somehow, I can’t help but go back to my habits of just writing.
Just writing because I want to, just writing because I feel like my thoughts have significance (and at some point, I’ve stopped caring if they did have to other people). I’ve stopped enslaving myself to the idea that YOU FUCKING NEED TO READ THIS. Somehow, that’s what have kept my writing.
While I admit I may not have the whole “writing” personna owned, I don’t really mind. This tumblr has always been the crazy run-through of this delusional mind of mine, and I don’t mind it being that way. It’s a way for me to organize my thoughts, my opinions, and my feelings. A bit messy, but I’ll say it’s still beautiful, nonetheless.
While I have nothing against purpose-ful writing (I think it’s really commendable, considering where I’m coming from), I think this is the only time I am fully able to accept my abilities, and place, regarding it.
Writing is a beautiful.
So cheers to blogging, or writing in general, for whatever purpose we all have.