- N: My life is 1/3 over. If I die at 40 it means I've already lived half of it!
Relationship Status: Nah
Tell me with
so many out there why I always turn to you. Your goodbyes tear me down every time and it’s so easy to see that the blame is on me.
I don’t even know where to start. All I want to say is thank you for waiting for me, for hugging me and catching every muffled gasp. I forgot how it felt to have someone you love hold you in your lowest points, to have somebody put their arms around you as you cry. There’s really nothing quite like it. Nothing.
I’m sorry for saying ayoko, it’s the only word my whole being could muster.
You have no idea how much I didn’t want it to end, you have no idea how much I wished you’d never go back, and that you can just hold me till daylight comes. You have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you, even though I know it will be wrong. Maybe if I did, I can set things right, even just for that night. Ah what if I did? I don’t even want to know.
I dread for the night I now have to drive back home alone again. I dread basically anytime I will be alone.
Bakit ngayon? Bakit ganoon?
I just really try my best to keep myself happy with the things that I do and the projects I involve myself with. Sometimes it’s really hard to go through it on your own and most of the time I just feel alone in everything that I do. So I’m sorry if I snapped back because that really hit a nerve and I’m crying right now because I don’t know, all I wanted was a little support maybe.
I don’t know why I’m doing this again. I remember swearing off vague rant-y self-deprecating posts a long time ago but I can’t help it. I’ve been lying in my bed for quite sometime now and the only words that are ringing in my head are everything and sucks.
And it seems like everything is going extremely well for others. All the more do I feel insecure and miserable.
Where’s that big fat crying hug when you need it.
It seems as if nothing is going right right now. All plans are behind schedule and I don’t have any motivation for doing anything at all. I feel so ashamed for performing incompetently but at the same time I feel like there’s nothing else I can do given my set of situations.
I just want to cry and sulk in the corner.
I need to bounce back, I just don’t know how yet.